26.4.12

Moving to the other side of the world isn't always plain sailing

Life gets a little bit wibbly round here from time to time when the subject of where we should live comes up.

A very poignant photo taken 12 years ago
For us it's not just the question of 'should we live in this suburb or the next' but 'should we live in this country or aother'.  When this topic rears its not so attractive head I feel a bit like I'm on the waltzers going round and round and starting to feel a bit sick and dizzy.  For there is no correct answer and there is so much emotion involved that it seems impossible to make the right choice...for it seems there is no 'right' choice.

Going back to the UK has been a talking point since my hubby got back in January.  I am not totally adverse to the idea as there are so many things I love about England (some of which are listed in the last post), but I just really like living close to my family and I mostly enjoy the life I have created here in my little south eastern corner of the world. 

I suppose it will always be a 'thing' in our lives and I guess that's what can happen when two people from the same part of the world move to another; peoples' wants and needs are different simply because they themselves are different.  In our case one of us will always be compromising on where to live.

In my own family there have been six other people who have migrated.  Of these six, only one has gone back to the UK but she will be returning soon, one more would like to go back but not enough to do it and all the others are very very settled.  So what makes one person settle and some not?  Who the heck knows? 

What I do know though is that moving to another country can be hard sometimes, it takes work and you have to make an effort to meet people and to fill the gaps left by the life you used to lead.  You have to make an effort to learn new ways of doing things, to learn the nuances that make up your new culture and you have to be willing and able to change.  And for some people no matter how much effort they make and how many people they meet, it just doesn't happen; some gaps just aren't 'fillable' and change is way harder than they would like it to be.  

I hope I don't sound ungrateful for what I have.  On the contrary I am very grateful indeed, I just wanted to share my thoughts and give a little insight into the issues that we have faced with our migration.  I have heard it said umpteen times that it takes two years to settle in a new place, but I think that is a conservative estimate to be honest.  We are five and a half years in and these issues still come up pretty regularly.  I know we're not the first people to experience this issue ... the term ping pong pom says a lot.  I tell you what ... whoever invents an anti-homesickness drug will be quids in!   

Jo :)
 

2 comments:

Rainbow Vintage Home said...

Oh Jo it must be really hard always feeling like one of you is compromising, and that there's always another option to consider. Me and Frank talked about emigrating to NZ because we both know people there and it sounds amazing, and it would be an adventure - but ultimately decided it would be too hard to be so far from family and friends, and familiar places and culture. I hope you manage to feel more settled one day, sounds like it's a lovely life you've got out there but nothing is perfect I guess! Rachel x

Jo said...

Thanks Rachel
I guess that's just life, everyone has a 'thing' that they have to deal with and in many ways I'm lucky - it could be a lot worse. For now I'm trying to do what you're trying to do, just live more for the moment and enjoy the little things.
Jo x

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